Two of a Kind

Prompt: You are a cynical, evil dog who has had many owners. You are adopted by a lovely couple with a toddler. You do no want to be friends with the toddler but somehow you are going to love the toddler.

    Oh not this again.
    Rolling over, I watched the humans ogling me from the other side of the chain link fence. There was something irresistible about a small terrier that apparently ‘looked like Wishbone’. I don’t know who Wishbone was, but my physical resemblance to him provided me with a free ticket out of the pound whenever people came to adopt. I’ve been adopted several times and the poor schmucks never knew what they are getting themselves into before it was too late. But, since I didn’t like being in the pound, I gave the people a little tail wag to convince them to break me out of here on their dime.

    That’s all it took to trick the couple into paying a fee and bringing me to their lovely home. They didn’t let me out of the kennel until they had brought their spawn to watch. Oh, great, just great, apparently I was some surprise gift for a child. I played along, for now, just to make sure the parents wouldn’t whisk me right back to the pound. I gave the kid a lick on the face, and then found myself rolling across the floor when the child smacked me. I got back to my feet, shook myself off, and wandered away while the parents tried to school the little brat in how to properly treat a pet.
    The house was alright and a quick round of the kitchen revealed that the parents were not very good about cleaning up messes. In fact, I found little snacks all over the house. I quickly feasted on my finds before the parents could catch on to what I was doing.
I was just getting in to the bedroom when the man picked me up and brought me outside to play. There was a talk about this being where I needed to ‘do my business’. Right, like I haven’t heard that one before, buddy. These people were in for a surprise whenever they first left me alone in the house. I already had the perfect spot picked out by the front door.

    The man tried to throw a ball for me, but before I could even have my fun of refusing to play, the child called the father’s attention away from me. I followed them to the sandbox and sat on the edge. Later I would make sure to dig out as much as the sand as possible.
A moment later the man wandered away to talk on his cell phone which left me and the child staring at each other while he loaded a bucket with sand. He glanced at his inattentive father, picked up the bucket, and waddled back inside the house where he promptly dumped the sand all over the carpet.

    We stood back as the mother discovered the mess and proceeded to chew out the father for not watching the child. Then, as the parents had their tiff, little troublemaker went to the kitchen. I padded along after him, curious about my new roommate. Normally kids pull at my tail and ears while giggling uncontrollably. This child was proving to be more than just a little different from the others I had endured.
    I sat down on the kitchen tiles and watched the child open the small drawers one by one to make himself a ladder, which he promptly used to climb onto the counter. He grabbed a jar and sat down on the edge. I could smell the cookies from where I sat and yes, I may have started to drool a little bit. I sat a little closer to the child’s dangling feet and lolled my tongue up at him.
He watched me with mild interest before tossing me a broken piece of cookie. I quickly gobbled it up and my tail wagged in satisfaction. It was then I decided that I might be able to work in unison with this devilish child.

    The next day I showed him how to pee on potted plants and he showed me where his parents hide their  expensive shoes. Together we tore up the neighbor’s magnolias before we were discovered and whisked back inside before we could get in more trouble. I dug holes in the yard and he would turn on the house and fill them with water until the whole place was a minefield of mud holes.
At night I would curl up on the rug in his room and his exasperated parents would stare in at us. I knew they wanted to get rid of me, but they were too concerned about how upset it would make their son. The idiots didn’t realize that we were working together to cause as much chaos as possible. It had nothing to do about being fond of each other.

    The parents left the doorway and I got up to sleep next to the toddler where they didn’t like me to be. The child draped an arm over me and muttered a sleepy, “I love you.” I licked his face and settled down for the night, dreaming about what trouble we would get in tomorrow.



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